|
SHARING WITH US
If you would like to ask Mike a question about consent, respect, healthy
relationships, and/or sexual assault, this is your place to do so. Also
feel free to share your thoughts on Mike's "Can I Kiss You?"
presentation by scrolling down this page or by clicking here.
 |
QUESTION OF THE
WEEK FROM A STUDENT
there's this situation that happened and i dont know if its
cosidered rape or not. we'll just put this persons name as jane.
ok. so jane was with her friend in a hotel room and her and her
friend got DRUNK, but she got more wasted then her friend.
jane was puking in the bathroom, so then jane decided to go lay down
cause she was just not feeling right. then two guy friends of janes
friend came. there is jane laying on the bed cause she doesnt
even know whats goin on then one of the guys went in the bed with
jane. time passed and this guy, we'll say joe, starts to be on top
of jane and starts to do things. jane had said no as shes still
GONE, not knowing whats goin on. she remembered him trying to have
sex with her but she was pushing him away and said no. they were
making out and more time passed. then she wakes up in the morning
and joe smiles and laughs while he is naked in the bed with jane and
her clothes. jane smiles and laughs too. she doesnt know if he
had sex with her or not, but she does remember saying no a couple of
times. now my question is that, was jane rapped by joe? thanks
ANSWER
One "No" is more than enough. When a
person says, "No" to sexual contact and the other person continues sexually
touching the person who said, "No" (in this case, Jane was the person saying
"No"). then the person sexually touching Jane is committing sexual assault.
If Jane was intoxicated and not of sound mind (as you have described), Jane
cannot give consent. Consequently, the alcohol situation you have
described would also be grounds for a sexual assault in most states. Plus,
if Jane is a minor, age laws could apply to the situation you have described
(state laws vary across the country).
The best thing you can do to help Jane is to talk with her about calling a local
rape crisis center. You can find your local rape crisis center by visiting
your state coalition against sexual assault's website (click
here to find) and by calling R.A.I.N.N. (Rape,
Abuse, and Incest National Network) at (800) 656-HOPE. Your local rape
crisis center and RAINN will keep any and all calls completely confidential.
They are fantastic resources for Jane!!
RECENT COMMENTS FROM STUDENTS
We just had a speech from you today, and I truly believe what you are saying. If more people thought the way you made them think today about sexual assault and what not, our town, our world would be a better place. You really made students think that wanted to listen and learn from you.
For that I admire you
~ High School student from Cedarburg High School in WI
"I was starting to wonder if
anything I'd read about a man really loving a woman was true or not. But when I
saw you up there, talking about what happened to your sisters and encouraging
the boys at my school to be more caring toward the girls, I was truly touched.
You helped give me hope again. I'm sure your job involves stress, but never give
up on what you do. It is a wonderful thing, and I want to thank you with all my
heart. As corny as this sounds, I mean it. thank you, on behalf of all girls who
hear your speech. Thanks. We all appreciate it."
~ Middle School student from IA
"Thanks so much for speaking
with us! Your energy was contagious and your words really stuck. I was a little
skeptical at first but you truly helped us open our eyes. I spoke with my Dad
about "can you kiss me" and he said that when he met my mom he asked if he could
kiss her! My mom said that she was presently surprised and almost 30 years later
she still remembers how romantic their first kiss was. You are a very talented
speaker and have a great message. Thanks again for your time and energy! ~ Liz.
P.S. I opened the door."
~ High School student from TX
You spoke at a nearby college
the other night and I attended the program. I live in Boys and Girls homes
(a group home) because I am a foster care child. I am 16-and me and few other
girls attended your program along with the college students. I was emailing you
to say thank you. I am a survivor of multiple sexual assaults. No one -and when
I say no one...I am talking about therapist...teachers....social workers....case
workers....community providers - no one has ever connected with me the way you
did. I think it is amazing that finally someone can answer those hard questions
of why the victim doesn't do this or why the victim doesn't say that. I think
what you are doing is amazing. And I thank God every day for people like you
that speak out and cause every day-every hour-every minute-every second....every
moment, just a little bit easier. It is because of everyday heroes like you---I
don't have to be ashamed anymore. And for that I am now and forever more
grateful. Continue the work you are doing. You are truly a gift from God.
~ A High School student
"I'm a survivor and I have
opened doors all because of you. I have not told anyone that I am a
survivor to more than one time. . . thank you mike for helping me think about it
and now I think that I can be more comfortable about talking about rape and
sexual assault. So again, I don't know if this is how I email you or not but
thanks if it is."
~ A High School student from IA
"hey mike i just wanted to let you know that i think you had more of an
impact than you think on all of us kids at Jerstad middle school. it really
opened my eyes and let me see certain situations with a whole new perspective. i
think you captured everyones attention. you taught me a good lesson. thanx!"
Jerstad Middle School
"i go to
gilmore middle school and you recently came my school and u talked to us and i
think you are cool and i think ur so brave to be doing this after what happened
to ur sister i think u make a great differecne, um i was wonderin where do
i get thoses books? i would like to say ur AWSOME and keep going you really do
make a differnce!!"
Gilmore Middle School
"i don't have a
question i just wanted to tell you a story. i am 16 years old and currently in
11th grade. i was rapped and sexually harassed most of my life. while in the
assembly i sat there and listened very intently to the people around me's
reaction to what you were saying about that. in the begining of you
presentation they were snickering and being immature (typical kids) but when you
got to that part there really was no laugh or any jokes or anything. it was
awesome what you did and are doing. you have given my courage and helped
me to realize that i am not the only one out there who is hurting so thank! i
really appreciate it! may God bless you for all that you do and have
done!" High School Student
RETURN TO TOP
|
